First Kiss

(10^th Doctor x Reader)

‘I’m really going to do it this time…’ You stopped twiddling your thumbs long enough to stare at the pentagon created by your fingers.  You could feel your heart drumming in your chest as you played out the scenario for the eleventh time in your head.  It wasn’t that big of a deal.  The Doctor had had girlfriends, lovers, probably even wives before in his previous incarnations, so surely he wouldn’t mind.  Suddenly, your brain froze.  Instead of calming yourself down, your previous thought just made you feel even more nervous.  He had so many people to compare you to.  So.  Many.  Women.

“Are you alright?”  You glanced up to see a pair of dark brown eyes watching you intently from behind a pair of thick-rimmed glasses.  The Doctor leaned forwards, his hands gripping his knees as he tried to get a better look at your face.  You could see your reflection in his glasses; he had a right to be worried.  You looked like you were about to be sick.  “Are you feeling ill?”

You shook your head in protest, but soon froze as you felt The Doctor’s cool hand light itself against your forehead.  His brows furrowed as he stared past you, measuring your temperature and making it rise all at the same time.  You opened your mouth, then closed it.  The scent of Old Spice cologne, subtle but nonetheless enticing, made your words turn to meaningless garble before they ever had a chance to exit your mouth.  The Doctor lowered his hand and straightened his posture, his expression a bit concerned.

“You feel a bit warm,” he muttered, raking his fingers through his already messy hair as he debated whether or not to take you home.  You had been acting so strange lately.  Maybe you needed a trip back to Earth, just to calm your nerves.  With a reassuring grin, he bounded towards the TARDIS console and started flipping switches, pulling levers, etc.  You tried to stand, but found it difficult.  As the TARDIS groaned and whooshed, you couldn’t help but wonder where The Doctor was taking you.

“Doctor?”  You made your way around the console, being careful not to press any buttons or do anything that might make you land on some strange planet.  Last time you’d ended up in some sort of backwards dimension during the French Revolution.  Not a very pleasant time for any part of the universe…

“Yes?”  The Doctor reached across the console, flipping one of the switches with his fingertips.

“Where are we going?”

He gave you a quick glance before pulling the final lever, his expression completely neutral as he answered calmly, “Home.”

 That one single word felt like a bullet shot straight through your heart.  Home.  The TARDIS was your home; wherever The Doctor was, was your home.  You didn’t want to go back to Earth, to your mundane life with other people just like you doing the same things day after day.  You loved the adventure, the excitement, the feeling of new discovery.  Was all of that over?

 “No,” you staggered backwards, almost tripping over your own feet.  The Doctor turned his attention from the console to you, his eyes widening as he saw your expression.  In a matter of seconds, he was by your side, both hands cupping your face as he forced you to look at him.

“______--”

“I won’t go back,” you interrupted him, vision blurring as hot tears threatened to fall.  You tried blinking them away, but all they did was spill over your lower-lids in a wet, salty trail.  The Doctor swept them away with his thumbs, gently caressing your cheeks in an attempt to calm you down.

“But, ______, I—”

“How can you do it?”  Your voice was shaky, but not hysterical.  You closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure, but this only made you even more aware of how close you were to The Doctor.  You could feel the heat radiating from his skin, smell the delightful scent rolling off of it.  He was so near to you that you could feel his cool breath wash over your face.  You were so close.

“______, look at me.” 

You bit your lip, frowning slightly. 

The Doctor repeated, “Look at me.”

Your eyes fluttered open, everything focusing slowly due to the excess tears skewing your vision.  The Doctor was staring at you, his gaze intense, but also gentle as he tipped his forehead against yours.  “Do you really think I’m taking you home?  For good, I mean?”

You opened your mouth, then closed it.  A bright smile stretched across The Doctor’s face as he watched your expression change considerably.  A wave of heat crawled up your neck as you realized just how much you had overreacted.

“You think I’m homesick,” you sighed, feeling like an idiot.  The Doctor nodded, removing his hands from your face, leaving your skin feeling suddenly cold.  Your blush intensified as you felt his fingers tangle with yours.

“But you’re not,” he dipped his chin, removing his glasses and stuffing them in his pocket.  There was a gentle tug on your arm as The Doctor guided you to one of the steps leading to the back of the TARDIS.  “What’s really bothering you, ______?”

As the two of you took your seats on one of the steps, you felt your former anxiety return.  How could you possibly say it out loud?

“I…”  You bit your lip as The Doctor scooted next to you.  He stared at your intertwined hands and grinned slightly.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” he assured you.  “Whatever’s bothering you, maybe I can help.”

You couldn’t help but smile.  You turned towards The Doctor, realizing once again just how close you were to him.  You idly wondered if he could hear your heart drumming in your chest, feel the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.  Finally, without thinking, you whispered, “Kiss me.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened considerably as you leaned forwards, eyes half-closed.  He began sliding backwards until you almost fell in his lap.

“What brought this on?”  His voice cracked slightly.  Your eyes fluttered as you straightened your posture, becoming painfully shy once more.

“W-Well,” you stumbled with your words, trying to form them in a way that wouldn’t make you sound like a complete idiot.  You’d already made a fool out of yourself once today.  “I-It’s just…”

You stood suddenly, releasing The Doctor’s hand as you did so and skipping past him towards your room.

“Just forget it!”  You laughed nervously, scratching your neck.  “It’s nothing!”

The Doctor stood, wagging his finger at you accusingly.  “It most certainly isn’t nothing.  Just tell me, what on Earth has gotten into you?”

You inhaled slowly, then exhaled.  You had to tell him now.  No going back.

“I want for you to be my first kiss,” your face was as red as a tomato as you spoke.  You clasped your hands together, thumbs twiddling once more.  “There.  I said it.  I know it sounds stupid, but I—”

This time it was The Doctor who interrupted you, one of his hands gripping yours in an attempt to stop the twiddling.  As you glanced up at him, he smiled, his eyes searching yours for any sign of indecision. There was none to be found.  You had already decided a long time ago that he was the one.  Finally, The Doctor consented, his voice barely more than a whisper as he said, “It would be my honor.”

You didn’t have any time to react.  The Doctor cupped your face in his hands and, very gently, allowed you your first kiss.  The pressure was so light, it was almost teasing as his lips caressed yours very affectionately.  You could feel his warm breath skid across your lips and pass between them as you parted them slightly.  Without thinking, you snaked your arms around his neck and gripped the fabric of his overcoat, pulling him closer to you.  Nothing you had imagined was even comparable to what you were feeling now.

And just like that, it was over.

You stared at the Time Lord, unsure of what to say.  A single phrase hung on the edge of your tongue, but couldn’t quite exit your mouth.  Not yet.  After a moment of silence, The Doctor arched an eyebrow and grinned ruefully, giving you a playful wink.  “And you thought I was taking you home.”

THE END~